Pandemic Julius Caesar
by Jeff Culbert
Adapted from Julius Caesar, by William Shakespeare

A play designed to be produced under pandemic conditions

  In the London Ontario production, we recorded the whole show and then had a group viewing via Zoom. But it could also be done as a live online performance, if you prefer.
  The play is set during a pandemic and it’s happening is the present, so all characters have access to modern online communication tools. They post videos, sit for interviews, and have Zoom conversations, and it's designed so that actors never have to be in the same room as anyone else.
  The style is an online documentary covering the assassination of Julius Caesar, made from within the ranks of the conspirators - Brutus, Cassius, Casca and the rest. In this adaptation, a minor character in Shakespeare’s play, Pindarus, is elevated to the role of narrator and documentary film-maker.

The characters, in order of appearance, are:
Pindarus
Cassius
Cobbler
Soothsayer
Casca
Brutus
Caesar
Decius
Portia
Ligarius
Calpurnia
Lucius
Antony
Citizen

To inquire about using this script, contact Jeff Culbert at jculbert@gtn.on.ca
The video of the London Ontario production is available here.



Pandemic Julius Caesar
A documentary about the attempt to save Rome from one-man rule.
Created by Pindarus,
who was involved in these events from start to finish,
 because of his bondage to Cassius,
the spark-plug of the conspiracy to kill Julius Caesar.

1. PINDARUS
(Our narrator, in isolation because of the pandemic, making a home video recording.)
Hello everyone. My name is Pindarus, I’m a slave, and my master is Cassius. He has asked me to keep a record of his plan to save the Republic and the freedom of everyone. Well not me; I’m a slave, but … freedom more generally. Freedom for my master. But I am on board, for sure. Cassius is a good guy.
We want history to be able to look back and see how it all happened. I’ll try to get as much as I can on record.
I’m in isolation because the pandemic is starting to set in. Everything is going crazy at once: the pandemic, the political crisis, the economic crash, the climate crisis – everything.
Right now, the Republic as we know it is under threat. One man is trying to assume absolute power. So unless someone intervenes, the Rule of Law will be thrown out and we’ll be left with a Leadership Cult. The Cult of Julius Caesar. That’s where we are right now, and that’s where Cassius comes in. He’s not going to let that happen.

2. CASSIUS
(interview for this documentary)
Well, honour is the subject of my story.
I cannot tell what you and other men
Think of this life; but, for my single self,
I was born free as Caesar; so were you:
We both have fed as well, and we can both
Endure the winter's cold as well as he:
For once, upon a raw and gusty day,
The troubled Tiber chafing with her shores,
Caesar said to me 'Darest thou, Cassius, now
Leap in with me into this angry flood,
And swim to yonder point?' Upon the word,
Accoutred as I was, I plunged in
And bade him follow; so indeed he did.
The torrent roar'd, and we did buffet it
With lusty sinews, throwing it aside
And stemming it with hearts of controversy;
But ere we could arrive the point proposed,
Caesar cried 'Help me, Cassius, or I sink!'
I, as Aeneas, our great ancestor,
Did from the flames of Troy upon his shoulder
The old Anchises bear, so from the waves of Tiber
Did I the tired Caesar. And this man
Is now become a god, and Cassius is
A wretched creature and must bend his body
If Caesar carelessly but nod on him.

He had a fever when he was in Spain,
And when the fit was on him, I did mark
How he did shake: 'tis true, this god did shake;
His coward lips did from their colour fly,
And that same eye whose bend doth awe the world
Did lose his lustre: I did hear him groan:
Ay, and that tongue of his that bade the Romans
Mark him and write his speeches in their books,
Alas, it cried 'Give me some drink, Titinius,'
As a sick girl. Ye gods, it doth amaze me
A man of such a feeble temper should
So get the start of the majestic world
And bear the palm alone.

3. PINDARUS
Caesar’s plot to take over Rome became more obvious when he took out his rival Pompey. There was a big public fuss when he returned home after the battle. I wanted to get a sense of the word on the street, so I spoke with one person who braved the pandemic to go out to the rally.  Obviously, this was before the orders to stay at home had really come into effect.  

4. COBBLER
(interview for this documentary)
Well, it was like a holiday, really. We all knocked off work and went down to see Caesar and to hear about his big triumph over Pompey. But a couple of the old Pompey geezers, they were having a fit, you know:
“Hence! home, you idle creatures, get you home:
Is this a holiday? Speak, what trade art thou?”
So I says “Trade? Truly, sir, in respect of a fine workman, I am but, as you would say, a cobbler.”
He says, “But what trade art thou? Answer me directly.”
A bit snotty-like, right?
I says, “A trade, sir, that, I hope, I may use with a safe conscience; which is, indeed, sir, a mender of bad soles.”
“What trade, thou knave? thou naughty knave, what trade?”
“Nay, I beseech you, sir, be not out with me: yet, if you be out, sir, I can mend you.”
So the other geezer steps in. He’s a little smarter.
“Thou art a cobbler, art thou?”
I says, “Truly, sir, I am, indeed, sir, a surgeon to old shoes; when they are in great danger, I recover them. As proper men as ever trod upon neat's leather have gone upon my handiwork.
He says, “But wherefore art not in thy shop today?
Why dost thou lead these men about the streets?”
I says, “Truly, sir, to wear out their shoes, to get myself into more work.”
  Finally, I says, “But, indeed, sir, we make holiday, to see Caesar and to rejoice in his triumph.”
That was not what they wanted to hear at all.
“Wherefore rejoice? What conquest brings he home?
What tributaries follow him to Rome,
To grace in captive bonds his chariot-wheels?
You blocks, you stones, you worse than senseless things!
You deplorables!”
Here’s starting to lose it by now.
“You cruel men of Rome,
Knew you not Pompey?” he says,
“Be gone! Run to your houses”, he says, “Fall upon your knees,
Pray to the gods to intermit the virus
That’s falling now on this ingratitude.”
… I mean, come on. Right?

5. PINDARUS
Those two tribunes started pulling Caesar’s victory flags off of the statues. Saying, and I quote:
“These growing feathers pluck'd from Caesar's wing
Will make him fly an ordinary pitch,
Who else would soar above the view of men
And keep us all in servile fearfulness.”
But they soon found out that it’s dangerous to resist the rise of Caesar. Word came out that Ceasar’s gang caught up with them and they had been “put to silence” … whatever that means in this new regime.
Fast forward to the Feast of Luprecal. Caesar and his train were on their way to the marketplace to watch the festivities, when the whole parade was brought to a halt by this man:
 
6. SOOTHSAYER
(interview for this documentary)
I see things, and then they come true. Don’t ask; I don’t know why. My sister had triplets, and I predicted that, what?, two, three years before she was even pregnant. That’s just one example. In Caesar’s case, I saw the date. The Ides of March. And I saw the danger for Caesar. Or at least, I saw that there was a danger. I couldn’t quite make out what it was.
  This was on the Feast of Luprecal. Caesar was about to walk by. Quick thinking needed; no time to lose. Do I just keep it to myself?
  No, I couldn’t let it go; I had to do it, so I just yelled, “Caesar!!” That stopped the whole show. Caesar said, “Who calls?” … I just kept quiet. Then “Speak! Caesar is turn’d to hear.” … I’m lying low; I’m not saying anything. Everybody’s just waiting. So I went with the only thing that I was sure of: the date. “Beware the Ides of March”. That’s all I had to say. But Caesar said, “Set him before me; let me see his face.” I said to myself, “Ah shit, here we go”. So up I went, and Caesar said, “What say’st thou to me now? Speak once again”. I just said it again, “Beware the Ides of March.”
  He just brushes me off. “He is a dreamer; let us leave him.” And off they toddled. … I was just trying to do him a favour!

7. CASCA
(interview for this documentary)
My name is Casca. I do, uh, … a little crowd control for Caesar. Telling the rabble to shut up when Caesar wants to speak, that sort of thing. So (big breath) we’re in procession, we’re moving along nice and smoothly, and Caesar suddenly decides that he’s got something he wants to say to his wife Calpurnia. I’m thinking, what? You couldn’t have said whatever it is when you were at home? But I do my job: “Peace, ho! Caesar speaks!” And they all shut up and Calpurnia has to step up and say, “Here, my lord.” And Caesar says to her, “Stand you directly in Antonius’ way, when he doth run his course.” Then he calls for Mark Antony. “Antonius!” (He calls him) And Antony steps up, “Caesar, my lord?” And Caesar says
“Forget not, in your speed, Antonius,
To touch Calpurnia; for our elders say,
The barren, touched in this holy chase,
Shake off their sterile curse.”
  I’m thinking, wow, you are such a first-class jerk, aren’t you? He’s basically saying, in front of everybody, “She’s not pregnant, but that’s not my fault. It’s hers.” But nobody says anything, of course. Mark Antony just kisses ass, as usual.  “I shall remember: When Caesar says 'do this,' it is perform'd.”
  That attitude. That’s pure authoritarianism. That’s not how a republic works.

8. PINDARUS
Cassius will try to figure out a way to approach Casca about his plans, but you have to be careful. You don’t want to say the wrong thing to the wrong person here. Don’t be hasty. And yes, Casca would make a good ally, but the real catch would be the noble Brutus. So Cassius gave him a call.
 
9. CASSIUS-BRUTUS
(a Zoom call)
CASSIUS
Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs and peep about
To find ourselves dishonourable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.
Now, in the names of all the gods at once,
Upon what meat doth this our Caesar feed,
That he is grown so great? Age, thou art shamed!
Rome, thou hast lost the breed of noble bloods!
When could they say till now, that talk'd of Rome,
That her wide walls encompass'd but one man?

BRUTUS
That you do love me, I am nothing jealous;
What you would work me to, I have some aim:
How I have thought of this and of these times,
I shall recount hereafter; for this present,
I would not, so with love I might entreat you,
Be any further moved. What you have said
I will consider; what you have to say
I will with patience hear, and find a time
Both meet to hear and answer such high things.
Till then, my noble friend, chew upon this:
Brutus had rather be a villager
Than to repute himself a son of Rome
Under these hard conditions as this time
Is like to lay upon us.

10. PINDARUS
   OK, that’s not quite Brutus agreeing to join a conspiracy, but he’s getting close. Cassius knows that Brutus is the key player here; if he can get Brutus on board, then they are coming into this on the moral high ground. As they say, the good thing to do is what the good man does, and Brutus is the model of the good man.
   Meanwhile, Caesar’s plans to take over were advancing. He and Antony floated a trial balloon in the marketplace, to see how the crowd would react.

11. CASCA
(a Zoom call. Casca wears earbuds, and we only hear Casca’s side of the conversation.)
-    Ay, you left a text; would you speak with me?
-    Why, you were with Caesar, were you not?
-    Why, there was a crown offered him: and being offered him, he put it by with the back of his hand, thus; and then the people fell a-shouting.
-    Why, the second noise was for that too.
-    Why, the third was for that too.
-    Ay, marry, was't offered him thrice, and he put it by thrice, every time gentler than other, and at every putting-by mine honest neighbours shouted their approval.
-    Why, ‘twas Antony offered him the crown.
-    I can as well be hanged as tell the manner of it: it was mere foolery; I did not mark it. I saw Mark Antony offer him a crown;--yet 'twas not a crown neither, 'twas one of these coronets;--and, as I told you, he put it by once: but, for all that, to my thinking, he would fain have had it. Then he offered it to him again; then he put it by again: but, to my thinking, he was very loath to lay his fingers off it. And then he offered it the third time; he put it the third time by: and still as he refused it, the rabblement hooted and clapped their chapped hands and threw up their sweaty night-caps and uttered such a deal of stinking breath because Caesar refused the crown that it had almost choked Caesar; for he swounded and fell down at it: and for mine own part, I durst not laugh, for fear of  opening my lips and receiving the bad air. If anyone had the virus, it would be them.
-    Ay, he fell down in the market-place, and foamed at mouth, and was speechless.
-    Ay, the falling sickness.
-    We are the ones who have it? I know not what you mean by that; but, I am sure, Caesar fell down. If the tag-rag people did not clap him and hiss him, according as he pleased and displeased them, as they use to do the players in the theatre, I am no true man.
-    Marry, before he fell down, when he perceived the common herd was glad he refused the crown, he plucked me ope his doublet and offered them his throat to cut. An I had been a man of any occupation, if I would not have taken him at a word, I would I might go to hell among the rogues. And so he fell. When he came to himself again, he said, If he had done or said any thing amiss, he desired their worships to think it was his infirmity. Three or four wenches, where I stood, cried 'Alas, good soul!' and forgave him with all their hearts: but there's no heed to be taken of them; if Caesar had stabbed their mothers, they would have done no less.
-    Ay, that’s why you saw the angry spot glowing on Caesar’s brow when he came away.
-    Cicero? Ay, he spoke. He spoke Greek.
-    Nay, an I tell you what he said, Ill ne'er look you i' the face again: but those that understood him smiled at one another and shook their heads; but, for mine own part, … it was Greek to me. Fare you well. There was more foolery yet, if I could remember it.


12. CASSIUS
(interview for this documentary)
Casca now puts on this tardy form.
This rudeness is a sauce to his good wit,
Which gives men stomach to digest his words
With better appetite.

And, Brutus, he is noble; yet, I see,
His honourable metal may be wrought
From that it is disposed: therefore it is meet
That noble minds keep ever with their likes;
For who so firm that cannot be seduced?
Caesar doth bear me hard; but he loves Brutus:

And after this let Caesar seat him sure;
For we will shake him, or worse days endure.

13. PINDARUS
We got a little insight into Caesar’s opinion of my master Cassius, thanks to this recording made by one of my colleagues.

14. CAESAR
(A surreptitiously recorded video of Caesar on his phone)
Let me have men about me that are fat;
Sleek-headed men and such as sleep o’ nights:
Yond Cassius has a lean and hungry look;
He thinks too much: such men are dangerous.
Would he were fatter! But I fear him not:
Yet if my name were liable to fear,
I do not know the man I should avoid
So soon as that spare Cassius. He reads much;
He is a great observer and he looks
Quite through the deeds of men: he loves no plays,
As thou dost, Antony; he hears no music;
Seldom he smiles, and smiles in such a sort
As if he mock’d himself and scorn’d his spirit
That could be moved to smile at any thing.
Such men as he be never at heart’s ease
Whiles they behold a greater than themselves,
And therefore are they very dangerous.

I rather tell thee what is to be fear’d
Than what I fear; for always I am Caesar.
I’m doing a great job.

15. CASCA-CASSIUS
Storm
(Zoom call between Casca and Cassius. Casca has just come in from the tempest.)
CASCA
Are not you moved, when all the sway of earth
Shakes like a thing unfirm? O Cassius,
I have seen tempests, when the scolding winds
Have rived the knotty oaks, and I have seen
The ambitious ocean swell and rage and foam,
To be exalted with the threatening clouds:
But never till to-night, never till now,
Did I go through a tempest dropping fire.
Either there is a civil strife in heaven,
Or else the world, too saucy with the gods,
Incenses them to send destruction.
A common slave—you know him well by sight--
Held up his left hand, which did flame and burn
Like twenty torches join’d, and yet his hand,
Not sensible of fire, remain’d unscorch’d.
Against the Capitol I met a lion,
Who glared upon me, and went surly by,
Without annoying me: and there were drawn
Upon a heap a hundred ghastly women,
Transformed with their fear; who swore they saw
Men all in fire walk up and down the streets.
And yesterday the bird of night did sit
Even at noon-day upon the market-place,
Hooting and shrieking. When these prodigies
Do so conjointly meet, let not men say
‘These are their reasons; they are natural;’
For, I believe, they are portentous things
Unto the climate that they point upon.
CASSIUS
(approaches his camera)
You are dull, Casca, and those sparks of life
That should be in a Roman you do want,
Or else you use not. You look pale and gaze
And put on fear and cast yourself in wonder,
To see the strange impatience of the heavens:
But if you would consider the true cause
Why all these fires, why all these gliding ghosts,
Why birds and beasts from quality and kind,
Why old men fool and children calculate,
Why all these things change from their ordinance
Their natures and preformed faculties
To monstrous quality,--why, you shall find
That heaven hath infused them with these spirits,
To make them instruments of fear and warning
Unto some monstrous state.
Now could I, Casca, name to thee a man
Most like this dreadful night,
That thunders, lightens, opens graves, and roars
As doth the lion in the Capitol,
A man no mightier than thyself or me
In personal action, yet prodigious grown
And fearful, as these strange eruptions are.
CASCA
‘Tis Caesar that you mean; is it not, Cassius?
CASSIUS
Let it be who it is.
CASCA
Indeed, they say the senators tomorrow
Mean to establish Caesar as a king;
And he shall wear his crown by sea and land,
In every place, save here in Italy.
CASSIUS
I know where I will wear this dagger then;
Cassius from bondage will deliver Cassius:
Therein, ye gods, you make the weak most strong;
Therein, ye gods, you tyrants do defeat:
Nor stony tower, nor walls of beaten brass,
Nor airless dungeon, nor strong links of iron,
Can be retentive to the strength of spirit;
But life, being weary of these worldly bars,
Never lacks power to dismiss itself.
If I know this, know all the world besides,
That part of tyranny that I do bear
I can shake off at pleasure.
CASCA
                                             So can I:
So every bondman in his own hand bears
The power to cancel his captivity.
CASSIUS
And why should Caesar be a tyrant then?
Poor man! I know he would not be a wolf,
But that he sees the Romans are but sheep:
He were no lion, were not Romans hinds.
Those that with haste will make a mighty fire
Begin it with weak straws: what trash is Rome,
What rubbish and what offal, when it serves
For the base matter to illuminate
So vile a thing as Caesar! But, O grief,
Where hast thou led me? I perhaps speak this
Before a willing bondman; then I know
My answer must be made. But I am arm’d,
And dangers are to me indifferent.
CASCA
You speak to Casca, and to such a man
That is no fleering tell-tale.
Be factious for redress of all these griefs,
And I will set this foot of mine as far
As who goes farthest.
CASSIUS
 (He holds his fist up to the screen) Fist bump. Come on, come on, come on!
(Fist Bump) There’s a bargain made.

16. BRUTUS-CASSIUS-DECIUS
(Zoom call. Cassius and Decius are in the waiting room at the beginning.)
BRUTUS (alone)
It must be by his death: and for my part,
I know no personal cause to spurn at him,
But for the general. He would be crown'd:
How that might change his nature, there's the question.
It is the bright day that brings forth the adder;
And that craves wary walking. Crown him?--that;--
And then, I grant, we put a sting in him,
That at his will he may do danger with.
Then, lest he may, prevent.
And therefore think him as a serpent's egg
Which, hatch'd, would, as his kind, grow mischievous,
And kill him in the shell.

Since Cassius first did whet me against Caesar,
I have not slept.
Between the acting of a dreadful thing
And the first motion, all the interim is
Like a phantasma, or a hideous dream:
The Genius and the mortal instruments
Are then in council; and the state of man,
Like to a little kingdom, suffers then
The nature of an insurrection.
(He brings Cassius and Decius into the conversation.)
O Rome, I make thee promise:
If the redress will follow, thou receivest
Thy full petition at the hand of Brutus!
CASSIUS
And let us swear our resolution.
BRUTUS
No, not an oath:
If these be motives weak, break off betimes,
And every man hence to his idle bed;
So let high-sighted tyranny range on,
What need we any spur but our own cause,
To prick us to redress?
what other bond
Than secret Romans, that have spoke the word,
And will not palter? and what other oath
Than honesty to honesty engaged,
That this shall be, or we will fall for it?
CASSIUS
But what of Cicero? shall we sound him?
I think he will stand very strong with us.
DECIUS
O, let us have him, for his silver hairs
Will purchase us a good opinion
And buy men's voices to commend our deeds:
It shall be said, his judgment ruled our hands;
Our youths and wildness shall no whit appear,
But all be buried in his gravity.
BRUTUS
O, name him not: let us not break with him;
For he will never follow any thing
That other men begin.
CASSIUS
Then leave him out.
DECIUS
Indeed he is not fit.
Shall no man else be touch'd but only Caesar?
CASSIUS
Decius, well urged. I think it is not meet,
Mark Antony, so well beloved of Caesar,
Should outlive Caesar: we shall find of him
A shrewd contriver; and, you know, his means,
If he improve them, may well stretch so far
As to annoy us all: which to prevent,
Let Antony and Caesar fall together.
BRUTUS
Our course will seem too bloody, Caius Cassius,
To cut the head off and then hack the limbs,
Like wrath in death and envy afterwards;
For Antony is but a limb of Caesar:
Let us be sacrificers, but not butchers, Caius.
We all stand up against the spirit of Caesar;
And in the spirit of men there is no blood:
O, that we then could come by Caesar's spirit,
And not dismember Caesar! But, alas,
Caesar must bleed for it! And, gentle friend,
Let's kill him boldly, but not wrathfully;
Let's carve him as a dish fit for the gods,
Not hew him as a carcass fit for hounds:
                                     This shall make
Our purpose necessary and not envious:
Which so appearing to the common eyes,
We shall be call'd purgers, not murderers.
And for Mark Antony, think not of him;
For he can do no more than Caesar's arm
When Caesar's head is off.
CASSIUS
                                              Yet I fear him;
For in the ingrafted love he bears to Caesar--
BRUTUS
Alas, good Cassius, do not think of him:
If he love Caesar, all that he can do
Is to himself, take thought and die for Caesar:
Good gentleman, look fresh and merrily;
Let not our looks put on our purposes,
But bear it as our Roman actors do,
With untired spirits and formal constancy:
And so good morrow to you good gentlemen
(Brutus signs off and disappears.)
CASSIUS
But it is doubtful yet,
Whether Caesar will come forth to-day, or no;
For he is superstitious grown of late,
Quite from the main opinion he held once
Of fantasy, of dreams and ceremonies:
It may be, these apparent prodigies,
The unaccustom'd terror of this night,
And the persuasion of his augurers,
May hold him from the Capitol to-day.
DECIUS
Never fear that: if he be so resolved,
I can o'ersway him; for he loves to hear
That unicorns may be betray'd with trees,
Lions with toils and men with flatterers;
But when I tell him he hates flatterers,
He says he does, being then most flattered.
Let me work;
For I can give his humour the true bent,
And I will bring him to the Capitol.

17. PORTIA
(one side of her call to Brutus)
Brutus, my lord!
 
Nor for yours neither. You've ungently, Brutus,
Stole from my bed: and yesternight, at supper,
You suddenly arose, and walk'd about,
Musing and sighing, with your arms across,
And when I ask'd you what the matter was,
You stared upon me with ungentle looks;
I urged you further; then you scratch'd your head,
And too impatiently stamp'd with your foot;
Yet I insisted, yet you answer'd not,
But, with an angry wafture of your hand,
Gave sign for me to leave you: so I did;
Fearing to strengthen that impatience
Which seem'd too much enkindled, and withal
Hoping it was but an effect of humour,
Which sometime hath his hour with every man.
It will not let you eat, nor talk, nor sleep,
And could it work so much upon your shape
As it hath much prevail'd on your condition,
I should not know you, Brutus. Dear my lord,
Make me acquainted with your cause of grief.

Brutus is wise, and, were he not in health,
He would embrace the means to come by it.

Is Brutus sick? and is it physical
To walk unbraced and suck up the humours
Of the dank morning? What, is Brutus sick,
And will he steal out of his wholesome bed,
To dare the vile contagion of the street
And tempt the rheumy and unpurged air  
To drop the deadly virus? No, my Brutus;
You have some sick offence within your mind,
Which, by the right and virtue of my place,
I ought to know of
By all your vows of love and that great vow
Which did incorporate and make us one,
That you unfold to me, yourself, your half,
Why you are heavy, and what men to-night
Have had to resort to you: for here have been
Some six or seven, who did hide their faces
Even from darkness.

Within the bond of marriage, tell me, Brutus,
Is it excepted I should know no secrets
That appertain to you? Am I yourself
But, as it were, in sort or limitation,
To keep with you at meals, comfort your bed,
And talk to you sometimes? Dwell I but in the suburbs
Of your good pleasure? If it be no more,
Portia is Brutus' harlot, not his wife.

If this were true, then should I know this secret.
I grant I am a woman; but withal
A woman that Lord Brutus took to wife:
Tell me your counsels, I will not disclose 'em.


18. LIGARIUS
(leaving a video message for Brutus. He has a cough.)
Brutus!
Vouchsafe good morrow from a feeble tongue.
Your message said, “Would you were not sick”, but
I am not sick, if Brutus have in hand
Any exploit worthy the name of honour.
If so,
By all the gods that Romans bow before,
I here discard my sickness! Soul of Rome!
Brave son, derived from honourable loins!
Thou, like an exorcist, hast conjured up
My mortified spirit. Now bid me run,
And I will strive with things impossible;
Yea, get the better of them. What's to do?
A piece of work that will make sick men whole?
And are not some whole that we must make sick?
Set on your foot,
And with a heart new-fired I follow you,
To do I know not what: but it sufficeth
That Brutus leads me on.
No need to worry; I will bring my mask.

 19. CALPURNIA
(an interview)
I woke up, and Caesar wasn’t in the bed. I got up to find him getting ready to go out for the day. I said,
What mean you, Caesar? think you to walk forth?
You shall not stir out of your house to-day.
He said,
“Caesar shall forth: the things that threaten'd me
Ne'er look'd but on my back; when they shall see
The face of Caesar, they are vanished.”
What can I say? He was a stubborn man. I said,
Caesar, I never stood on ceremonies,
Yet now they fright me. There is one within,
Besides the things that we have heard and seen,
Recounts most horrid sights seen by the watch.
A lioness hath whelped in the streets;
And graves have yawn'd, and yielded up their dead;
Fierce fiery warriors fought upon the clouds,
In ranks and squadrons and right form of war,
Which drizzled blood upon the Capitol;
The noise of battle hurtled in the air,
Horses did neigh, and dying men did groan,
And ghosts did shriek and squeal about the streets.
As hornets of a monstrous size appeared.
O Caesar! these things are beyond all use,
And I do fear them.
He said
Yet Caesar shall go forth; for these predictions
Are to the world in general as to Caesar.
I said,
When beggars die, there are no comets seen;
The heavens themselves blaze forth the death of princes.
He laughed aloud and passed it off by saying
“Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.”
Finally, I said, Alas, my lord,
Your wisdom is consumed in confidence.
Do not go forth to-day: call it my fear
That keeps you in the house, and not your own.
We'll send Mark Antony to the senate-house:
And he shall say you are not well to-day:
Let me, upon my knee, prevail in this.”
(I was literally on my knees.)
And finally, he listened and relented,
“Mark Antony shall say I am not well,
And, for thy humour, I will stay at home.”
And I felt a heavy weight was lifting from me,
But that relief was not to be for long.
For Decius came and shattered it for ever.

20. DECIUS
(an interview for this documentary)
I said, all hail! good morrow, worthy Caesar:
I come to fetch you to the senate-house.

Calpurnia was trying to make me tell them
That he was sick and worried about the virus
But Caesar wouldn’t have it said in public.
“Have I in conquest stretch'd mine arm so far,
To be afraid to tell graybeards the truth?”
He said go tell them Caesar will not come.
I said
Most mighty Caesar, let me know some cause,
Lest I be laugh'd at when I tell them so.
He said,  
The cause is in my will: I will not come;
That is enough to satisfy the senate.
But for your private satisfaction,
Because I love you, I will let you know:
Calpurnia here, my wife, stays me at home:
She dreamt to-night she saw my statua,
Which, like a fountain with an hundred spouts,
Did run pure blood: and many lusty Romans
Came smiling, and did bathe their hands in it:
And these does she apply for warnings, and portents,
And evils imminent; and on her knee
Hath begg'd that I will stay at home to-day.
I said,
This dream is all amiss interpreted;
It was a vision fair and fortunate:
Your statue spouting blood in many pipes,
In which so many smiling Romans bathed,
Signifies that from you great Rome shall suck
Reviving blood, and that great men shall press
For tinctures, stains, relics and cognizance.
This by Calpurnia's dream is signified.
Caesar liked that. So I said,
And know it now: the senate have concluded
To give this day a crown to mighty Caesar.
If you shall send them word you will not come,
Their minds may change. Besides, it were a mock
Apt to be render'd, for some one to say
'Break up the senate till another time,
When Caesar's wife shall meet with better dreams.'
If Caesar hide himself, shall they not whisper
'Lo, Caesar is afraid'?

And that.my friends is how I came to fetch him
And lead him to the end of his career.

21. LUCIUS - PORTIA
(zoom conversation)
PORTIA
I prithee, boy, run to the senate-house;
Stay not to answer me, but get thee gone:
Why dost thou stay?
LUCIUS
To know my errand, madam.
PORTIA
I would have had thee there, and here again,
Ere I can tell thee what thou shouldst do there.
O constancy, be strong upon my side,
Set a huge mountain 'tween my heart and tongue!
Art thou here yet?
LUCIUS
Madam, what should I do?
Run to the Capitol, and nothing else?
And so return to you, and nothing else?
PORTIA
Yes, bring me word, boy, if thy lord look well,
For he went sickly forth: and take good note
What Caesar doth, what suitors press to him.
Hark, boy! what noise is that?
LUCIUS
I hear none, madam.
PORTIA
Prithee, listen well;
I heard a bustling rumour, like a fray,
And the wind brings it from the Capitol.
LUCIUS
Sooth, madam, I hear nothing.
PORTIA
Ay me, I must go in. O Brutus,
The heavens speed thee in thine enterprise!
(she realizes that she’s still online with Lucius) Brutus hath a suit
That Caesar will not grant. O, I grow faint.
Run, Lucius, and commend me to my lord;
Say I am merry: come to me again,
And bring me word what he doth say to thee. Go!
Go go go go go go go go go!

22. SOOTHSAYER
(an interview for this documentary)
It was coming, whatever is was. Some kind of harm to Caesar. None that I knew would be, much that I feared may chance.
I was in the street again, looking for an opening to present my suit.
Caesar saw me there, and he remembered me. He stared me down and said, “The Ides of March are come.” They were passing me by and getting further away. I said, “Aye Caesar, but not gone.”

23. CASSIUS
(an interview for this documentary)
 The first person I saw when I walked into the senate-house: Popilius. He leaned in a little too close and said, “I wish your enterprise to-day may thrive.” I said, “What enterprise, Popilius?” He just said “Fare you well” and went on his way. I told Brutus about it, and we both kept an eye on Popilius as he approached Caesar.
I said to Casca, “be sudden, for we fear prevention.
We cannot fail, or I will slay myself.”
But Brutus piped up, the voice of reason, and said,
“Cassius, be constant:
Popilius Lena speaks not of our purposes;
For, look, he smiles, and Caesar doth not change.”
And he was right. And I was breathing again.
And then Trebonius showed he knew his time
He drew Mark Antony out of the way.
Metellus Cimber went to talk to Caesar
And Casca followed with his knife concealed.

23. CASCA
(a report for this documentary)
The first suit of the day for Caesar was presented by Metellus Cimber, on behalf of his brother Publius, who was banished by Caesar. He would ask that the banishment decision be reversed, and Brutus and Cassius and the others would back him up.
  Metellus laid it on pretty thick, saying “Most high, most mighty, and most puissant Caesar,” but Caesar called him on it. “I must prevent thee, Cimber.
These couchings and these lowly courtesies
Might fire the blood of ordinary men,
but not Caesar.”
He says “Thy brother by decree is banished:
If thou dost bend and pray and fawn for him,
I spurn thee like a dog out of my way.
Know, Caesar doth not wrong, nor without cause
Will he be satisfied.”
Then Brutus stepped in, and things got tenser. He said,
“I kiss thy hand, but not in flattery, Caesar;
Desiring thee that Publius Cimber may
Have an immediate freedom of repeal.”
That caught Caesar off guard. You could tell. He said, “What, Brutus!” He was not used to being challenged anymore.

But Cassius broke the stand-off with a little sucking up:
“Pardon, Caesar; Caesar, pardon:
As low as to thy foot doth Cassius fall,
To beg enfranchisement for Publius Cimber.”
And that’s when Caesar put his foot down:
“I could be well moved, if I were as you:
If I could pray to move, prayers would move me:
But I am constant as the northern star,
Of whose true-fix'd and resting quality
There is no fellow in the firmament.
The skies are painted with unnumber'd sparks,
They are all fire and every one doth shine,
But there's but one in all doth hold his place:
So in the world; 'tis furnish'd well with men,
And men are flesh and blood, and apprehensive;
Yet in the number I do know but one
That unassailable holds on his rank,
Unshaked of motion: and that I am he,
Let me a little show it, even in this;
That I was constant Cimber should be banish'd,
And constant do remain to keep him so.”
So Caesar was telling us to our faces that he was in charge, as of now. The Republic was gone. Cinna and Decius tried to pipe up with objections, but Caesar cut them right off. And that’s when I said, “Speak, hands for me!”

25. PINDARUS
 (immediately after the death of Caesar)
We did it! (chanting) Liberty, freedom, tyranny is dead! Liberty, freedom, tyranny is dead!
The whole group had a hand in it, starting with Casca and ending with Brutus, which took Caesar by surprise, I must say.
My lord Cassius said, “How many ages hence
shall this our lofty scene be acted over
in states unborn and accents yet unknown!
So often shall the knot of us be call’d
the men that gave their country liberty.”
As soon as I heard that, I thought, There’s the title for my documentary: The Men that Gave their Country Liberty. Maybe.  
And Brutus was great, Some people were freaking out, but he said, no, don’t be afraid, no more violence, that’s it. Ambition’s debt is paid. There is no harm intended to your person.
Cassius asked Mark Antony, “Will you be prick’d in number of our friends? Or shall we on and not depend on you?” Antony replied that he was friends with all of us, and only requested that he be allowed to speak at Caesar’s funeral.   Cassius didn’t like the idea, but Brutus insisted that it would be OK.

Now, it’s less than an hour since the death of Caesar, and Brutus is about to go live.

26. BRUTUS
(a live social media broadcast)
Romans, countrymen, and lovers! hear me for my cause, and be silent, that you may hear: believe me for mine honour, and have respect to mine honour, that you may believe: censure me in your wisdom, and awake your senses, that you may the better judge. If there be any in this assembly, any dear friend of Caesar's, to him I say, that Brutus' love to Caesar was no less than his. If then that friend demand why Brutus rose against Caesar, this is my answer: --Not that I loved Caesar less, but that I loved Rome more. Had you rather Caesar were living and die all slaves, than that Caesar were dead, to live all free men? As Caesar loved me, I weep for him; as he was fortunate, I rejoice at it; as he was valiant, I honour him: but, as he was ambitious, I slew him. There is tears for his love; joy for his fortune; honour for his valour; and death for his ambition.
  Who is here so base that would be a bondman? If any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so rude that would not be a Roman? If any, speak; for him have I offended. Who is here so vile that will not love his country? If any, speak; for him have I offended. I pause for a reply.
Then none have I offended.
  His body is mourned by Mark Antony: who, though he had no hand in his death, shall receive the benefit of his dying, a place in the commonwealth; as which of you shall not? With this I depart,--that, as I slew my best lover for the good of Rome, I have the same dagger for myself, when it shall please my country to need my death.


27. PINDARUS
And I’ll just read a few tweets that are coming in:
“Live, Brutus! live!”
“Bring Brutus with triumph home unto his house.”
“Give him a statue with his ancestors.”
“Let him be Caesar!” Hm.
“Caesar's better parts shall be crown'd in Brutus.” Oh boy.
And here’s Mark Antony. As he gets ready to speak, there are still tweets coming in:
“'Twere best Mark Antony speak no harm of Brutus here.”
“This Caesar was a tyrant.”
“No more Caesar:
We are blest that Rome is rid of him.”
And here’s Mark Antony now.

28. ANTONY
(a live social media broadcast)
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.
The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar. The noble Brutus
Hath told you Caesar was ambitious:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault,
And grievously hath Caesar answer’d it.
Here, under leave of Brutus and the rest--
For Brutus is an honourable man;
So are they all, all honourable men--
Come I to speak in Caesar’s funeral.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
He hath brought many captives home to Rome
Whose ransoms did the general coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem ambitious?
When that the poor have cried, Caesar hath wept:
Ambition should be made of sterner stuff:
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And Brutus is an honourable man.
You all did see that on the Lupercal
I thrice presented him a kingly crown,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this ambition?
Yet Brutus says he was ambitious;
And, sure, he is an honourable man.
I speak not to disprove what Brutus spoke,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did love him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him?

But yesterday the word of Caesar might
Have stood against the world; now lies he there.
And none so poor to do him reverence.
O masters, if I were disposed to stir
Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage,
I should do Brutus wrong, and Cassius wrong,
Who, you all know, are honourable men:
I will not do them wrong; I rather choose
To wrong the dead, to wrong myself and you,
Than I will wrong such honourable men.
But here’s a parchment with the seal of Caesar;
I found it in his closet, ‘tis his will:
Let but the commons hear this testament--
Which, pardon me, I do not mean to read--
And they would go and kiss dead Caesar’s wounds
And dip their napkins in his sacred blood,
Yea, beg a hair of him for memory,
And, dying, mention it within their wills,
Bequeathing it as a rich legacy
Unto their issue.

I’m getting some requests to read the will.
Even some demands, I have to say.
Have patience, gentle friends, I must not read it;
It is not meet you know how Caesar loved you.
You are not wood, you are not stones, but men;
And, being men, bearing the will of Caesar,
It will inflame you, it will make you mad:
‘Tis good you know not that you are his heirs;
For, if you should, O, what would come of it!
Oh, I should be careful.
I have o’ershot myself to tell you of it:
I fear I wrong the honourable men
Whose daggers have stabb’d Caesar; I do fear it.
You will compel me, then, to read the will?

Then picture, if you can, the corpse of Caesar,
On this dark day, we cannot even gather
To see in every face what we have lost.

If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.
I saw his corpse where Cassius ran his dagger
And what a rent the envious Casca made:
And where the well-beloved Brutus stabb’d;
And as he pluck’d his cursed steel away,
The noble blood of Caesar follow’d it,
As rushing out of doors, to be resolved
If Brutus so unkindly knock’d, or no;
For Brutus, as you know, was Caesar’s angel:
Judge, O you gods, how dearly Caesar loved him!
This was the most unkindest cut of all;
For when the noble Caesar saw him stab,
Ingratitude, more strong than traitors’ arms,
Quite vanquish’d him: then burst his mighty heart;
And, in his mantle muffling up his face,
Even at the base of Pompey’s statua,
Which all the while ran blood, great Caesar fell.
O, what a fall was there, my countrymen!
Then I, and you, and all of us fell down,
Whilst bloody treason flourish’d over us.
O, now you weep; and, I perceive, you feel
The dint of pity: these are gracious drops.

Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up
To such a sudden flood of mutiny.
They that have done this deed are honourable:
What private griefs they have, alas, I know not,
That made them do it: they are wise and honourable,
And will, no doubt, with reasons answer you.
I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:
I am no orator, as Brutus is;
I tell you that which you yourselves do know;
Speak of sweet Caesar’s wounds, poor poor dumb mouths,
And bid them speak for me: but were I Brutus,
And Brutus Antony, there were an Antony
Would ruffle up your spirits and put a tongue
In every wound of Caesar that should move
The stones of Rome to rise and mutiny.
Why, friends, you go to do you know not what:
Wherein hath Caesar thus deserved your loves?
Alas, you know not: I must tell you then:
You have forgot the will I told you of.
Here is the will, and under Caesar’s seal.
To every Roman citizen he gives,
To every several man, seventy-five drachmas.
Moreover, he hath left you all his walks,
His private arbours and new-planted orchards,
On this side Tiber; he hath left them you,
And to your heirs for ever, common pleasures,
To walk abroad, and recreate yourselves.
Here was a Caesar! When comes such another?

29. PINDARUS
I’m just going to read you what’s coming in right now.
“Never another such as Caesar! Come away, away!”
“We'll burn his body in the holy place,
And with the brands fire the traitors' houses.”
“Take up the body.”
“Go fetch fire.”
“Find the conspirators”
“Pluck down benches.”
“Pluck down forms, windows, any thing.”

(Pindarus stares for a long moment. Turns off the camera.)

30. CITIZEN
(an interview for this documentary)
Cinna just came along at the wrong time. He’s always unlucky that way; I don’t know how he does it. Now this is not Cinna the conspirator, no no, this is Cinna the poet. He’s not a great poet, but he has his good days. So he’s late for the funeral, that’s all over, and he runs straight into one of the mobs. He’s kind of running, so they think he looks suspicious.
“What is your name?
Whither are you going?
Where do you dwell?
Are you a married man or a bachelor?
Answer every man directly.
Ay, and briefly.
Ay, and wisely.
Ay, and truly, you were best.”
So Cinna is like, “What Whither Where, briefly wisely, truly: wisely I say, I am a bachelor.”
And one of the yobs said, “That's as much as to say, they are fools that marry:
you'll bear me a bang for that, I fear. Proceed; directly. Your name, sir, truly.
Truly, my name is Cinna.
Tear him to pieces! He's a conspirator!
I am Cinna the poet, I am Cinna the poet!
Tear him for his bad verses, tear him for his bad verses!
I am not Cinna the conspirator!
Tear him, tear him! Come, brands ho! fire-brands:
to Brutus', to Cassius'; burn all: some to Decius'
house, and some to Casca's; some to Ligarius': away, go!”
They were crazy!

31. PINDARUS
(now on the road, having fled Rome)
A lot has happened since my last recording. Mark Antony has taken power with Caesar’s nephew Octavius. They went on an execution spree, weeded out a lot of Senators that they didn’t like, and then they came after us. I wasn’t able to keep up with it all, but I did manage to get this final word from Cassius just before the battle:

32. CASSIUS
(an interview for this documentary)
This is my birth-day; as this very day
Was Cassius born.
Be thou my witness that against my will,
As Pompey was, am I compell'd to set
Upon one battle all our liberties.
You know that I held Epicurus strong
And his opinion: now I change my mind,
And partly credit things that do presage.
Coming from Sardis, on our former ensign
Two mighty eagles fell, and there they perch'd,
Gorging and feeding from our soldiers' hands;
Who to Philippi here consorted us:
This morning are they fled away and gone;
And in their steads do ravens, crows and kites,
Fly o'er our heads and downward look on us,
As we were sickly prey: their shadows seem
A canopy most fatal, under which
Our army lies, ready to give up the ghost.

 33. PINDARUS
This will have to be my good-bye. I guess my documentary it won’t be called The Men that Gave their Country Liberty. There won’t be much liberty around here for a while.

We got completely routed, and Cassius was of no mind to go on. He wasn’t about to be paraded through the streets as a traitor. He told me that he would grant me my freedom, but he had a final order for me to execute, and that was to execute him. To cover his head with a blanket and then run him through with his sword – the same sword that ran through Julius Caesar. And I did that. And after I did that, I became a free man. So it’s time to go. To get far away from Rome, if I can find my way through the mess out there without picking up the virus or getting lynched.
The authoritarians have won. For now. Democracy has been driven underground. Mistakes were made … mistakes were made.

So, I am free.
Far from this country Pindarus shall run,
Where never Roman shall take note of him.


END